funny Eveythng is incomplete without U.

"U" LAGAO' AUR BAN JAO TUM.

M__RKH
ST__PID
B__DH__
D__FFER
BEWK__F
GHOCH__
__LL__

Dekha! Eveythng is incomplete without U......!
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Dont keep me in ur heart but keep me in ur brain
bcoz Rehne ki jagah jitni khali ho, rehne me utna maza ata he

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6x)+(54y)-(25z) /40
652x > 4455y
(5250)=?
!
!

Pagal Hai Kya ?
Itna Kya Sochna
Time Paas Hai
Forward Kar Ke Dusre Ke Dimaag Ka Dahi Kar

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Misomi Kopur Mai Ukama Makaya Fula Ukiya Paristo Yal Xambo.

Soch Kya Rahe Ho? Mail free hai Mere ko..Jo Dil Karega Bhejunga. Chup chap padho..

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Utha le re deva, utha le....
Mereko nahi re, mere dost ko uthale....
Are uper nahi re baba, so raha hai, nind se uthale

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Gadho ki race .....
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
FIRE..

mail baad me padh lena
B. . . .H. . . ..A. . . .G. . . . . .. .
warna trophy koi aur le jayega....

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Aarzu me tere Diwaane ho gaye,

Tujhe Dost banaate-banaate our Begaane ho gaye ;

Kar de ab ek mail is naacheez ko,

Teri bhi Bakwaas padhe Zamaane ho gaye

(¨`•.•´¨) Always
`•.¸(¨`•.•´¨) Keep
(¨`•.•´¨)¸.•´ Smiling...
`•.¸.•´ It Costs Nothing ...

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 21 century

Living in 21 century

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 21 century when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2 You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to. ha ha ha ha.

SIDE EFFECTS of working in the IT sector

Bhavik

I once went out to the market wearing my Infosys ID card and did not realize till my friend told me why I was wearing it !!!!

Ashok

few days back I slept at 11:30 in the ni8 and woke up in the morning at 7:00 and suddenly thought that I haven't completed 9.15 hours and laughed at myself when I realised abt that.

Jyotsna

One from me too...

Just after our training completion in Mysore Dc and postings to Pune, me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants. .

And as I finished.. I started walking towards the Basin with plates in my hand.. :)

Abhijeet

Jus to add...

Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, "why is she not attending the status call?"

Anup

I don't login to orkut, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home... thinking it will be blocked any way.

Till I realize - I am at home.

Rohit

Yeah sometimes it do happens with me also........ ....while writing personal mails also........ .I jus use the way as if I am writing to onsite or some senior person...... ..

Jus forget that we are jus mailing our friends..... .........

And keeping hands in front of tap for waiting water to drop by itself is very frequent with me.......... .....I jus forget that we have to turn on and off the tap......... ..

Nidhi

Awesome!!

Once after talking to one of my friend. I ended the conversation saying ..." Ok bye...in case of any issues will call u back"

(Hilarious!)

Nisha

Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message

from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe its in the recycle bin

Farina

I was about to throw my hanky into the bin after drying my hand.

Bhabani

Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the door with the keys.

Nisha

Kinda a same experience for me too..

I gave my office mail id and pwd to access Gmail and wondered when did they become invalid???

Sandy

I have a experience to share tooo .. I was earlier working at the back office of an international Bank. We used to 'dispatch' lot of Credit / Debit cards and statements for the customers and track its delivery later.

Once my granma was admitted in a hospital, my team mate once casually asked me " howz ur granma doing now ? still in hospital ? " ... and i replied to her " She is better now , she will dispatched from the hospital tomorrow !"

This was followed by a loud laugh in the entire bay !

Sandeep

Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab....pharmacist asked whr I want 250mg r 500mg.....suddenly I replied as 256mg...lol. ...thank god he didn't noticed tht....

Ashwin

Me getting a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching from a news channel to the DVD while watching TV.

Vidyarthi

And I - after a forty hour marathon in Bhubaneshwar with Powerbuilder, decided to take a break and went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the silver screen!

Venu

Few of my friends and myself decided to go out for dinner. The place wasn't fixed yet. I said we shall decide it "run time"

Krishna

When I went to a movie theatre from office directly.. I showed the guy at the entrance my ID card and walked in... he had to call me back asking the ticket...

Rama

One late night when I went home after work, I was trying to flash my id card to open the lock and only after few secs, I realised what i'm trying to do

Sridhar

Once I went to have juice at the local juice vendor and innocuously asked him whether he had a plain 'version' of lemonade.

Arun

Few years back my shogun engine stopped on Bangalore MG Road as the petrol came to reserve. I told my friend I need to restart my bike!

Satya

The other day I was hearing one guy talking of a "Standalone" house.. when he was actually intending a independent house... Poor broker shud have tuff time trying to find a " Alone house standing in a huge empty area... " don't know what interpretations the guy must have made.

Funny scientific ways to catch a lion

Six scientific ways to catch a lion:

1. Newton's Method:
Let the lion catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught
lion.

2. Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will
also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.

3. Schrodinger Method:
At any given moment, there is a positive probability that lion to be in the cage. So set the trap, sit down and wait.

4. Inverse Transformation Method:
Place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it. Perform an inverse transformation with respect to lion. Lion is in and we are out.

5. Thermodynamic Procedure:
Construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows everything to pass it except lions. Then sweep the entire forest with it.

6. Integration Differential Method:
Integrate the forest over the entire area. The lion is some where in the result. So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t lion to trace out the lion.


GOT FRUSTRATED?!....
now lets kill the lion...

Govinda method:
Continously dance before the lion for 5-6 days.

Rahul Dravid method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run.

Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continously.

George Bush method:
Link the lion with Osama Bin Laden and shoot him.

Delhi Police method:
Catch mouse, beat him till he admits he is the Lion, then kill him!

Funny - Basic definitions - About Engineers

Some Basic definitions..

Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.

Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...

Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...

Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.

Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.

Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.

Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)

Lectures : Waste of time. Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP

Tuitions : What you take when you don't waste enough time....

Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.

Vernacular Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal." "You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?" )

Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which we watch the girls do our experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.

Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in our group simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings.(from the girls of course...).

The Truth about exams....


Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.

Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...

Re-verification : A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the KT exam).

An engineer's 10 engineering commandments of Life

1. Thou shall study only during the preparatory leave.

2. Thou shall never write thy assignments thyself.

3. Thou shall begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.

4. Thou shall treat all marks above 40 as bonus.

5. Thou shall have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.

6. Thou shall pass GRACEfully.

7. Thou shall always be an OUTstanding student.

8. Thou shall give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST

9. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.

10. Thou shall start every sentence with a four-lettered word.

The Years of Engineering

F.E. Fond of Engineering
S.E . Sick Of Engineering
T.E. Tired of Engineering
B.E. Balls to Engineering

Engineers Anthem:

Hum Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear Ek Din, OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, hum honge all clear ek din

Top two Engineering Rumors:

'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'

'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at VJTI'

The most dreaded acronym for Engineers:

ATKT ( After Trying Keep Trying)

The most important criteria while selecting an engineering college:

Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than0 .025% then that college is engineers dream come true)

Engineers at work:

Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations throughout the class

The most important machine for Engineers:

Xerox Machine (Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible)

The most important table in an Engineer's House:

The glass table ( to carry out GT operations, during Night Duty.)

The only queue an Engineer is familiar with:

Submission Queue

An Engineer's favourite watch:

Bird Watch !

Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:

'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'

'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'

'I am failing....I got screwed royally'

Feeling after Completing Engineering:

Survived Engineering !!!!!!!!!!!

SOFTWARE ENGINEER`S LOVE LETTER

SOFTWARE ENGINEER`S LOVE LETTER

Hi gud morning

Sweetheart,

I`ve seen you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For a long time I`ve been lonely; this has been the bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now.

My life is an uncompiled program without you, which never produces an executable code and hence is useless.

You are not only beautiful by face but all your ActiveX controls are attractive as well.

Your smile is so delightful; it encourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power.

When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my program modules are running smoothly and giving expected results. /*which I never experienced before.*/

With this letter, I just want to convey to you that if we are linked together, I'll provide you all objects & libraries necessary for a human being to live an error free life.

Also don`t bother about the firewall which may be created by our parents as I've strong hacking capabilities by which I`ll ultimately break their security passwords and make them agree for our marriage.

I anticipate that nobody has already logged in to your database so that my connect script will fail.

And it's all but certain that if

this happened to me, my system will crash beyond recovery.

Kindly interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox. Error free...

Yours Only
void main()

SOME USEFUL DEFINITIONS:Cigarette,Love affairs,Ecstasy,Computer Engineer

SOME USEFUL DEFINITIONS:

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ...

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails...