IT Engineer ki shayari

Jo sadiyaon se hota aaya hai, woh repeat kar doonga...
Tu naa mili to tujhko dil sey Ctrl+Alt+delete kar
doonga...
************ ******


Company kee ladkiyaan sunder hain aur lonely hain...
Problem ye hai ki bus voh READ-ONLY hain...
************ ******


Shayad mere pyar ko taste karna bhool gaye...
Dil sey aisa CUT kiya ke PASTE karna bhool gaye...
************ ******


Tumhare samne hain itney items kabhi hame bhi pick
karo...
Hamare pyar ke ICON pe kabhi to tum DOUBLE-CLICK
karo...
************ ******


Roz subha hum karte hain itne pyar se unhe good
morning...
woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain jaise 0 ERRORS but 5
WARNINGS...
************ ******


Ho gayi galti humse, click ho gaya mouse
Duniya ki parwaah chhodo, ban jaao meri spouse!
************ ******


Tumse mila main kal to, mere dil mein hua ek sound,
Lekin aaj tum mili to kehti ho: Your file not found!
************ ******


Ab aur kaho na tum, "but" ya "if"
Tum ho meri zindagi ki animated gif
************ ******


Aysa bhi nahin hai ke, I don't like your face
Par dil ke computer mein, nahin hai enough disk space
************ ******


Ghar se nikalti ho tum jab, pehen ke evening gown
Too many requests se, ho jaata hai server down
************ ******


Tumhaare liye pyaar ki application, create main
karoonga
Tum usse debug karna, wait main karoonga
************ ******


Tumhaara intezaar karte karte, main so gaya
Yeh dekho mera connection, time out ho gaya
************ ******


Kya chaal hai tumhaari, jaise chalti hai koi cat
What is your ICQ number, aao karein chat
************ ******


Tum jabse meri zindagi mein, aayi ho banke female
Yaad raha na ab kuch, na postman, na email

funny Eveythng is incomplete without U.

"U" LAGAO' AUR BAN JAO TUM.

M__RKH
ST__PID
B__DH__
D__FFER
BEWK__F
GHOCH__
__LL__

Dekha! Eveythng is incomplete without U......!
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Dont keep me in ur heart but keep me in ur brain
bcoz Rehne ki jagah jitni khali ho, rehne me utna maza ata he

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6x)+(54y)-(25z) /40
652x > 4455y
(5250)=?
!
!

Pagal Hai Kya ?
Itna Kya Sochna
Time Paas Hai
Forward Kar Ke Dusre Ke Dimaag Ka Dahi Kar

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Misomi Kopur Mai Ukama Makaya Fula Ukiya Paristo Yal Xambo.

Soch Kya Rahe Ho? Mail free hai Mere ko..Jo Dil Karega Bhejunga. Chup chap padho..

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Utha le re deva, utha le....
Mereko nahi re, mere dost ko uthale....
Are uper nahi re baba, so raha hai, nind se uthale

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Gadho ki race .....
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
FIRE..

mail baad me padh lena
B. . . .H. . . ..A. . . .G. . . . . .. .
warna trophy koi aur le jayega....

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Aarzu me tere Diwaane ho gaye,

Tujhe Dost banaate-banaate our Begaane ho gaye ;

Kar de ab ek mail is naacheez ko,

Teri bhi Bakwaas padhe Zamaane ho gaye

(¨`•.•´¨) Always
`•.¸(¨`•.•´¨) Keep
(¨`•.•´¨)¸.•´ Smiling...
`•.¸.•´ It Costs Nothing ...

Thinking hard about life

Nice mail…… but no ending…… c if u can answer……..

Here i am sitting in my office @ night
Thinking hard about life......

How it changed from a maverick college life to strict professional life...

How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly paychecks
but then why it gives less happiness.

How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe
but then why there are less people to use them

How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger
But then why there is less hunger..

How a bike always in reserve changed to bike always on
but then why there are less places to go on

How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day
but then why its feels like shop is far away..

How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid package
but then why there are less calls & more messages

How a general class journey changed to Flight journey
But then why there are less vacations for enjoyment.

How a old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptop
but then why there is less time to put it on.

How a small bunch of friends changed to office mate

But then why we always feel lonely n miss those college frnz..

Here i am sitting in my office @ night
Thinking hard about life
How it changed.. How it changed..

‘Alone alone all all alone.

Like a painted ship on a painted sea.’

This is beautiful! Try not to cry

This is beautiful!



She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: 'How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?'

The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it.'

Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?'

The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.'

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.. 'Would you like a lock of his hair?' the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.

The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. 'I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.' She went on, 'My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.'

Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car.

The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room.

She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She lay down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:

'Dear Mom,

I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say 'I Love You'. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.

Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him.. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you.. God said fo r me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'where was He when I needed him?' 'God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.

Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore the cancer is all gone.. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?

Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

(Let's see Satan stop this one.) Take 60 seconds and repost this, within the hour, you will have caused a multitude of believers to pray to God for each other. Then sit back and feel the Holy Spirit work in your life for doing what you know God loves 'When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.'

Email this.. Title:

This is beautiful! Try not to cry.

Send this to 10 people in 2 minutes and you will feel the Holy Spirit brightening your life in just an hour.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 21 century

Living in 21 century

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 21 century when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2 You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to. ha ha ha ha.

SIDE EFFECTS of working in the IT sector

Bhavik

I once went out to the market wearing my Infosys ID card and did not realize till my friend told me why I was wearing it !!!!

Ashok

few days back I slept at 11:30 in the ni8 and woke up in the morning at 7:00 and suddenly thought that I haven't completed 9.15 hours and laughed at myself when I realised abt that.

Jyotsna

One from me too...

Just after our training completion in Mysore Dc and postings to Pune, me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants. .

And as I finished.. I started walking towards the Basin with plates in my hand.. :)

Abhijeet

Jus to add...

Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, "why is she not attending the status call?"

Anup

I don't login to orkut, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home... thinking it will be blocked any way.

Till I realize - I am at home.

Rohit

Yeah sometimes it do happens with me also........ ....while writing personal mails also........ .I jus use the way as if I am writing to onsite or some senior person...... ..

Jus forget that we are jus mailing our friends..... .........

And keeping hands in front of tap for waiting water to drop by itself is very frequent with me.......... .....I jus forget that we have to turn on and off the tap......... ..

Nidhi

Awesome!!

Once after talking to one of my friend. I ended the conversation saying ..." Ok bye...in case of any issues will call u back"

(Hilarious!)

Nisha

Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message

from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe its in the recycle bin

Farina

I was about to throw my hanky into the bin after drying my hand.

Bhabani

Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the door with the keys.

Nisha

Kinda a same experience for me too..

I gave my office mail id and pwd to access Gmail and wondered when did they become invalid???

Sandy

I have a experience to share tooo .. I was earlier working at the back office of an international Bank. We used to 'dispatch' lot of Credit / Debit cards and statements for the customers and track its delivery later.

Once my granma was admitted in a hospital, my team mate once casually asked me " howz ur granma doing now ? still in hospital ? " ... and i replied to her " She is better now , she will dispatched from the hospital tomorrow !"

This was followed by a loud laugh in the entire bay !

Sandeep

Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab....pharmacist asked whr I want 250mg r 500mg.....suddenly I replied as 256mg...lol. ...thank god he didn't noticed tht....

Ashwin

Me getting a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching from a news channel to the DVD while watching TV.

Vidyarthi

And I - after a forty hour marathon in Bhubaneshwar with Powerbuilder, decided to take a break and went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the silver screen!

Venu

Few of my friends and myself decided to go out for dinner. The place wasn't fixed yet. I said we shall decide it "run time"

Krishna

When I went to a movie theatre from office directly.. I showed the guy at the entrance my ID card and walked in... he had to call me back asking the ticket...

Rama

One late night when I went home after work, I was trying to flash my id card to open the lock and only after few secs, I realised what i'm trying to do

Sridhar

Once I went to have juice at the local juice vendor and innocuously asked him whether he had a plain 'version' of lemonade.

Arun

Few years back my shogun engine stopped on Bangalore MG Road as the petrol came to reserve. I told my friend I need to restart my bike!

Satya

The other day I was hearing one guy talking of a "Standalone" house.. when he was actually intending a independent house... Poor broker shud have tuff time trying to find a " Alone house standing in a huge empty area... " don't know what interpretations the guy must have made.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION ON CELL PHONES USAGE

IMPORTANT INFORMATION ON CELL PHONES USAGE

If you're USING Mobile Phones while driving a car keep them in the car while filling up fuel. There have been three cases so far:

Case 1
Two months ago at a petrol station in Bandar Sri Damansara. The Car owner put his hand phone on the boot and started pumping fuel.
The phone rang and the car caught fire from the fumes coming out of the tank.

Case 2
A man got his face burnt while talking on the phone as he was pumping petrol.

Case 3
A man burnt his pants because the phone was in his pants pocket and rang while pumping petrol.

Using a hands-free WILL NOT reduce the risk. KEEP IT IN THE CAR. Almost all phones will indicate "Missed Calls" and the
number. So why take the risk?

Apparently it is the key pad or ringer that produces a small amount of electricity spark, enough to ignite the petrol fumes.
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2) To all Mobile users read this

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 # (Note: A star followed by hash
Followed by 0 followed by 6 followed by hash).

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere
safe. Should your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code.

They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief Changes the Sim card your phone will be totally useless. You probably
won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use /sell it either.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(3) Mobile phones

This Real story was told by a house-man in a local hospital in Bangalore.


A four year old girl was admitted due to leg fracture. As it was an open fracture, she had to undergo an operation to
stitch the protruding bone back in place. Though it was quite a minor operation, still she was hooked on to a life system, as its somehow part of the process. The doctors had to input some date prior to the operation to suit different conditions. Thereafter, the operation proceeded. Half way through the process, the life support system suddenly went dead.

The culprit: Some idiot was using his / her mobile phone outside the operation theatre. And the frequency had affected
the system.

They tried to track the fellow but to no avail. The little girl, young and innocent as she was, died soon after.
Sad to say, she was the only child.

Message:
Be compassionate. Do not use your mobile phone at any hospital, aircrafts or places where you are told not to use it.
You might not be caught in the act, but you might have killed someone without knowing.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTE: Forward this mail to your entire circle of friends even if you do not possess a cell-phone.
Please pass this to as many, since most of us are just not aware of the Seriousness

Funny - Basic definitions - About Engineers

Some Basic definitions..

Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.

Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...

Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...

Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.

Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.

Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.

Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)

Lectures : Waste of time. Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP

Tuitions : What you take when you don't waste enough time....

Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.

Vernacular Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal." "You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?" )

Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which we watch the girls do our experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.

Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in our group simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings.(from the girls of course...).

The Truth about exams....


Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.

Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...

Re-verification : A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the KT exam).

An engineer's 10 engineering commandments of Life

1. Thou shall study only during the preparatory leave.

2. Thou shall never write thy assignments thyself.

3. Thou shall begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.

4. Thou shall treat all marks above 40 as bonus.

5. Thou shall have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.

6. Thou shall pass GRACEfully.

7. Thou shall always be an OUTstanding student.

8. Thou shall give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST

9. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.

10. Thou shall start every sentence with a four-lettered word.

The Years of Engineering

F.E. Fond of Engineering
S.E . Sick Of Engineering
T.E. Tired of Engineering
B.E. Balls to Engineering

Engineers Anthem:

Hum Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear Ek Din, OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, hum honge all clear ek din

Top two Engineering Rumors:

'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'

'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at VJTI'

The most dreaded acronym for Engineers:

ATKT ( After Trying Keep Trying)

The most important criteria while selecting an engineering college:

Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than0 .025% then that college is engineers dream come true)

Engineers at work:

Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations throughout the class

The most important machine for Engineers:

Xerox Machine (Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible)

The most important table in an Engineer's House:

The glass table ( to carry out GT operations, during Night Duty.)

The only queue an Engineer is familiar with:

Submission Queue

An Engineer's favourite watch:

Bird Watch !

Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:

'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'

'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'

'I am failing....I got screwed royally'

Feeling after Completing Engineering:

Survived Engineering !!!!!!!!!!!

Funny-Biscuit Manufacturer writes a love letter to his Girl Friend??

Dear Mari e

Yesterday was a Good Day . Our meeting was Truly Nice .. Though

I was in 50 - 50 mind to see you, the meeting and the Treat were good.

The Hide and Seek game we had played was really memorable. If I had

not met you, probably my Little Heart would have burst. But this

occasion gave me a great Boost to make me feel like seeing you again

and again. Like a Tiger I will grab you if anybody comes between us.


Yours,

Bourbon

Never forget that I am always here for you

For all of this:

Never forget that when I smile at you, I'm saying "I love you. "
Never forget that my hand is always outstretched toward you.
Never forget that I am always here to listen to you.
Never forget that I will always stand behind you.
Never forget that I plan to hug you at least twice everyday.
Never forget that I am an open book to you.
Never forget that you need only ask me for anything, and it's yours.
Never forget that I want to spend time with you.
Never forget that I completely trust you.
Never forget that I care about you more than anything else in the world.
Never forget that I do love you, whether I say it or not.
Never forget that I'm thinking of you right now.
Never forget that you bring me joy, especially when you smile.
Never forget that I am always here for you.
Never forget that I missed you too.
Never forget that I am here anytime you need comforting.
Never forget that I still get lost in your eyes.
Never forget that you are in every beat of my Heart.

"A true friend is someone who reaches

your hand and touches your heart..."

Keep Smiling

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
«•´¨*•.¸¸.*¤~* {{Your Name}}*~¤*.¸¸.•*¨`•»
«•´`•.(¸.•´(¸.•* *•.¸)`•.¸).•´`•»
*(¨`•.•´¨)*
`•.¸.•´

SOFTWARE ENGINEER`S LOVE LETTER

SOFTWARE ENGINEER`S LOVE LETTER

Hi gud morning

Sweetheart,

I`ve seen you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For a long time I`ve been lonely; this has been the bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now.

My life is an uncompiled program without you, which never produces an executable code and hence is useless.

You are not only beautiful by face but all your ActiveX controls are attractive as well.

Your smile is so delightful; it encourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power.

When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my program modules are running smoothly and giving expected results. /*which I never experienced before.*/

With this letter, I just want to convey to you that if we are linked together, I'll provide you all objects & libraries necessary for a human being to live an error free life.

Also don`t bother about the firewall which may be created by our parents as I've strong hacking capabilities by which I`ll ultimately break their security passwords and make them agree for our marriage.

I anticipate that nobody has already logged in to your database so that my connect script will fail.

And it's all but certain that if

this happened to me, my system will crash beyond recovery.

Kindly interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox. Error free...

Yours Only
void main()

The Road Not Taken, And that has made all the difference

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference .

"A true friend is someone who reaches

your hand and touches your heart..."

Keep Smiling

Which One Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage

Which One Will You Go For??

Love Marriage	Arranged Marriage
Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.	Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.	Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible
Family system hangs because hardware (called parents) is not responding.	Compatible with hardware ( Parents).
You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.	You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.	All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.	Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!
Love Marriage is like Windows , beautiful n seductive.... Yet one never knows when it will crash....	Arranged Marriage is like Unix ... boring n colorless... still extremely reliable n robust.

"A true friend is someone who reaches

your hand and touches your heart..."

Keep Smiling

Dil ki baat Naye saal ke saath

DIL KI BAAT

Dil ki koi baat to ho

Ek apni aisi raat to ho

Jab tum saamne bethe ho

Pal ki sahi mulaqaat to ho

Khuwahish Dil main jaagi hai

Is sahil pe barsaat to ho

Tanha tanha kaise chalen

Koi apna Dil se saath to ho

===================================
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF U
Utkarsh Kulshrestha
===================================

"A true friend is someone who reaches

your hand and touches your heart..."

Keep Smiling