Monday, August 31, 2009

How a man with no Bad habits looks like

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.

A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him.. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him.

The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, "I do not have money,

But if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.

The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea ".

He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.

The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".

The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver ".

The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".

As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit ".

Suddenly the man felt relieved!! and asked the beggar to come to his home with him.

Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man.

But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".

The man replied..... ......... ......... ......... ......... .........







"My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad habits looks like."

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Kamal Hassan's Instinct : What do u call this - "A Coincidence" ?

1) In 1978, Kamal's tamil movie "Sivappu Rojakal" was released. He played the role of a Psychopath killer (femicide). A year later, a guy named "Psycho Raman" was caught for brutally murdering people especially women.

2) In 1988, Kamal played the role of an unemployed youth in the movie "Sathya". In 89-90's our country faced lot of problems due to unemployment.

3) In 1992, his blockbuster movie "Devar Magan" was released. It’s a village based subject. The movie portrayed scenes of communal clashes. Exactly a year later in 1993, there were many communal clashes in southern districts.

4) We all know in 1996 many people in our country was cheated by finance companies. Kamal Hassan had clearly depicted this in his movie "Mahanadhi" which was released in 1994, well a year in advance.

5) In "Hey Ram"(2000), there are few scenes relating to Hindu Muslim clashes. We all know 2 years later, Godhra (Gujarat riots) incident happened.

6) He used a word called 'tsunami' in his movie "Anbe Sivam"(2003).The word 'TSUNAMI' was not known to many people before. In 2004, 'tsunami' stuck the east coast of our country and many people lost their lives.

7) In his movie "Vettaiyadu Vilayadu "(2006) there are two characters called Ilamaran & Amudhan who played the roles of psychopath killers. After 3 months of release of the movie, the NOIDA serial killing came to light (Moninder & Sathish)

8) In his latest movie "Dasavatharam" in 2008 he mentioned about a deadly virus, which spread via air, that may destroy the world. Now in 2009 we have the Swine Flu that spreads through air. And to be specific, in the movie Kamal develops a bio weapon and finds out the deadly effect of the virus in a lab in America. Now the first case of Swine Flu was detected in Mexico (America). WHAT DO U CALL THIS ----- “A COINCIDENCE”?

Indian way of doing Business funny

Indian way of doing Business
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C. One from Bangladesh, another from India and the third, from China.

They go with a White House office to examine the fence..

The Bangladesh contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)".

The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 profit for me)".

The Indian contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Indian contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from China to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Inside story of 5 star hotel - just keep away

Keep away from 5 Star Hotels
Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "
Question : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"
Answer: "white"
Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.
Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst

Best Break-Up Letter Ever

Best Break-Up Letter Ever

A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home.
It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since
you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.

I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky..............

The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends.
In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.
There were 57 photos in that envelope.... along with this note:

Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,



If you're USING Mobile Phones while driving a car keep them in the car while filling up fuel. There have been three cases so far:

Case 1
Two months ago at a petrol station in Bandar Sri Damansara. The Car owner put his hand phone on the boot and started pumping fuel.
The phone rang and the car caught fire from the fumes coming out of the tank.

Case 2
A man got his face burnt while talking on the phone as he was pumping petrol.

Case 3
A man burnt his pants because the phone was in his pants pocket and rang while pumping petrol.

Using a hands-free WILL NOT reduce the risk. KEEP IT IN THE CAR. Almost all phones will indicate "Missed Calls" and the
number. So why take the risk?

Apparently it is the key pad or ringer that produces a small amount of electricity spark, enough to ignite the petrol fumes.

2) To all Mobile users read this

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 # (Note: A star followed by hash
Followed by 0 followed by 6 followed by hash).

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere
safe. Should your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code.

They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief Changes the Sim card your phone will be totally useless. You probably
won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use /sell it either.


(3) Mobile phones

This Real story was told by a house-man in a local hospital in Bangalore.

A four year old girl was admitted due to leg fracture. As it was an open fracture, she had to undergo an operation to
stitch the protruding bone back in place. Though it was quite a minor operation, still she was hooked on to a life system, as its somehow part of the process. The doctors had to input some date prior to the operation to suit different conditions. Thereafter, the operation proceeded. Half way through the process, the life support system suddenly went dead.

The culprit: Some idiot was using his / her mobile phone outside the operation theatre. And the frequency had affected
the system.

They tried to track the fellow but to no avail. The little girl, young and innocent as she was, died soon after.
Sad to say, she was the only child.

Be compassionate. Do not use your mobile phone at any hospital, aircrafts or places where you are told not to use it.
You might not be caught in the act, but you might have killed someone without knowing.


NOTE: Forward this mail to your entire circle of friends even if you do not possess a cell-phone.
Please pass this to as many, since most of us are just not aware of the Seriousness

Funny scientific ways to catch a lion

Six scientific ways to catch a lion:

1. Newton's Method:
Let the lion catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught

2. Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will
also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.

3. Schrodinger Method:
At any given moment, there is a positive probability that lion to be in the cage. So set the trap, sit down and wait.

4. Inverse Transformation Method:
Place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it. Perform an inverse transformation with respect to lion. Lion is in and we are out.

5. Thermodynamic Procedure:
Construct a semi-permeable membrane which allows everything to pass it except lions. Then sweep the entire forest with it.

6. Integration Differential Method:
Integrate the forest over the entire area. The lion is some where in the result. So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t lion to trace out the lion.

now lets kill the lion...

Govinda method:
Continously dance before the lion for 5-6 days.

Rahul Dravid method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run.

Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continously.

George Bush method:
Link the lion with Osama Bin Laden and shoot him.

Delhi Police method:
Catch mouse, beat him till he admits he is the Lion, then kill him!

INVISIBLE EMAIL This is pretty unique

Hi All,

This is pretty unique - don't ask me how they do it.

Place your mouse on the E below , click and drag to the U.

E ven though you can't see Him, GOD i s there for yo U

Please forward this to everyone you know and something

good will happen to you in the next hour...

just watch and wait for it.

Real Heroic Personality of a Common Man, Truly Inspirational..

Suvendu Roy of Titan Industries shares his inspirational encounter with a rickshaw driver in Mumbai:

Last Sunday, my wife, kid and I had to travel to Andheri from Bandra. When I waved at a passing auto rickshaw, little did I expect that this ride would be any different.

As we set off, my eyes fell on a few magazines (kept in an aircraft style pouch) behind the driver's back rest. I looked in front and there was a small TV. The driver had put on the Doordarshan channel. My wife and I looked at each other with disbelief and amusement. In front of me was a small first-aid box with cotton, dettol and some medicines. This was enough for me to realise that I was in a special vehicle. Then I looked round again, and discovered more - there was a radio, fire extinguisher, wall clock, calendar, and pictures and symbols of all faiths - from Islam and Christianity to Buddhism, Hinduism and Sikhism. There were also pictures of the heroes of 26/11- Kamte, Salaskar, Karkare and Unnikrishnan.

I realised that not only my vehicle, but also my driver was special.

I started chatting with him and the initial sense of ridicule and disbelief gradually diminished. I gathered that he had been driving an auto rickshaw for the past 8-9 years; he had lost his job when his employer's plastic company was shut down. He had two school-going children, and he drove from 8 in the morning till 10 at night. No break unless he was unwell. "Sahab, ghar mein baith ke TV dekh kar kya faida? Do paisa income karega toh

future mein kaam aayega."

We realised that we had come across a man who represents Mumbai - the spirit of work, the spirit of travel and the spirit of excelling in life. I asked him whether he does anything else as I figured that he did not have too much spare time. He said that he goes to an old age home for women in Andheri once a week or whenever he has some extra income, where he donates tooth brushes, toothpastes, soap, hair oil, and other items of daily use. He pointed out to a painted message below the meter that read:

"25 per cent discount on metered fare for the handicapped. Free rides for blind passengers up to Rs50".

The Marathi press in Mumbai know about him and have written a few pieces on him and his vehicle.

My wife and I were struck with awe. The man was a HERO! A hero who deserves all our respect. I know that my son, once he grows up, will realise that we have met a genuine hero. He has put questions to me such as why should we help other people? I will try to keep this incident alive in his memory.

Our journey came to an end; 45 minutes of a lesson in humility, selflessness and of a hero-worshipping Mumbai - my temporary home. We disembarked, and all I could do was to pay him a tip that would hardly cover a free ride for a blind man.

I hope, one day, you too have a chance to meet Mr Sandeep Bachhe in his auto rickshaw - MH-02-Z-8508.

THE MAKING OF ORKUT Cool Facts about Orkut

A guy lost his girlfriend in a train accident....

but the gal's name nowhere appeared in the dead list. This guy grew up n became IT technical architect in his late 20?s, achievement in itself!!

He hired developers from the whole globe and plan to make a software where he could search for his gf through the web..

Things went as planned...

n he found her, after losing millions of dollars and 3 long years!!

It was time to shut down the search operation, when the CEO of Google had a
word with this guy n took over this application,

This Software made a whopping 1 billion dollars profit in its first year,

which we today know as ORKUT.

The guy's name is ORKUT BUYUKKOTEN Yes its named after him only. Today he is paid a hefty sum by Google for the things we do like scrapping.
He is expected to b the richest person by 2009..

ORKUT BUYUKKOTEN today has 13 assistants to monitor his scrapbook & 8 to

monitor his friends-list. He gets around 20,000 friend-requests a day & about 85,000 scraps!!!

Some other Cool Facts about this guy:

He gets $12 from Google when every person registers to this website.

He also gets $10 when you add somebody as a friend.

He gets $8 when your friend's friend adds you as a friend & gets $6 if

anybody adds you as friend in the resulting chain.

He gets $5 when you scrap somebody & $4 when somebody scraps you.

He also gets $200 for each photograph you upload on Orkut.

He gets $2.5 when you add your friend in the crush-list or in the hot-list.

He gets $2 when you become somebody's fan.

He gets $1.5 when somebody else becomes your fan.

He even gets $1 every time you logout of Orkut.

He gets $0.5 every time you just change your profile-photograph.

He also gets $0.5 every time you read your friend's scrap-book & $0.5 every time
you view your friend's friend-list.

' WOW!!!



Funny - Basic definitions - About Engineers

Some Basic definitions..

Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.

: Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...

: Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...

Really Dumb Fresher
: Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.

Really Really Dumb fresher
: Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.

: The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.

Evasive action
: Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)

: Waste of time. Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP

: What you take when you don't waste enough time....

: Person paid to put students to sleep.

Vernacular Prof
: Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal." "You Out get from class." "Are you Understand, Beta?" )

: 60 to 90 minutes in which we watch the girls do our experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.

Hopeless Practical
: The practical in which there are no girls in our group simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings.(from the girls of course...).

The Truth about exams....

: The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.

Critical Calculation
: Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...

: A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the KT exam).

An engineer's 10 engineering commandments of Life

1. Thou shall study only during the preparatory leave.

2. Thou shall never write thy assignments thyself.

3. Thou shall begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.

4. Thou shall treat all marks above 40 as bonus.

5. Thou shall have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.

6. Thou shall pass GRACEfully.

7. Thou shall always be an OUTstanding student.

8. Thou shall give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST

9. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.

10. Thou shall start every sentence with a four-lettered word.

The Years of Engineering

Fond of Engineering
S.E .
Sick Of Engineering
. Tired of Engineering
Balls to Engineering

Engineers Anthem:

Hum Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear Ek Din, OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, hum honge all clear ek din

Top two Engineering Rumors:

'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'

'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at VJTI'

The most dreaded acronym for Engineers:

( After Trying Keep Trying)

The most important criteria while selecting an engineering college:

Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than0 .025% then that college is engineers dream come true)

Engineers at work:

Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations throughout the class

The most important machine for Engineers:

Xerox Machine
(Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible)

The most important table in an Engineer's House:

The glass table
( to carry out GT operations, during Night Duty.)

The only queue an Engineer is familiar with:

Submission Queue

An Engineer's favourite watch:

Bird Watch !

Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:

'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'

'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'

'I am failing....I got screwed royally'

Feeling after Completing Engineering:
Survived Engineering !!!!!!!!!!!

Funny-Biscuit Manufacturer writes a love letter to his Girl Friend??

Dear Mari e

Yesterday was a Good Day . Our meeting was Truly Nice .. Though

I was in 50 - 50 mind to see you, the meeting and the Treat were good.

The Hide and Seek game we had played was really memorable. If I had

not met you, probably my Little Heart would have burst. But this

occasion gave me a great Boost to make me feel like seeing you again

and again. Like a Tiger I will grab you if anybody comes between us.



Never forget that I am always here for you

For all of this:

Never forget that when I smile at you, I'm saying "I love you. "
Never forget that my hand is always outstretched toward you.
Never forget that I am always here to listen to you.
Never forget that I will always stand behind you.
Never forget that I plan to hug you at least twice everyday.
Never forget that I am an open book to you.
Never forget that you need only ask me for anything, and it's yours.
Never forget that I want to spend time with you.
Never forget that I completely trust you.
Never forget that I care about you more than anything else in the world.
Never forget that I do love you, whether I say it or not.
Never forget that I'm thinking of you right now.
Never forget that you bring me joy, especially when you smile.
Never forget that I am always here for you.
Never forget that I missed you too.
Never forget that I am here anytime you need comforting.
Never forget that I still get lost in your eyes.
Never forget that you are in every beat of my Heart.

"A true friend is someone who reaches
your hand and touches your heart..."
Keep Smiling
«•´¨*•.¸¸.*¤~* {{Your Name}}*~¤*.¸¸.•*¨`•»
«•´`•.(¸.•´(¸.•* *•.¸)`•.¸).•´`•»


Hi gud morning
I`ve seen you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For a long time I`ve been lonely; this has been the bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now.
My life is an uncompiled program without you, which never produces an executable code and hence is useless.
You are not only beautiful by face but all your ActiveX controls are attractive as well.
Your smile is so delightful; it encourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power.
When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my program modules are running smoothly and giving expected results. /*which I never experienced before.*/
With this letter, I just want to convey to you that if we are linked together, I'll provide you all objects & libraries necessary for a human being to live an error free life.
Also don`t bother about the firewall which may be created by our parents as I've strong hacking capabilities by which I`ll ultimately break their security passwords and make them agree for our marriage.
I anticipate that nobody has already logged in to your database so that my connect script will fail.
And it's all but certain that if
this happened to me, my system will crash beyond recovery.
Kindly interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox. Error free...

Yours Only
void main()

The Road Not Taken, And that has made all the difference

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the

"A true friend is someone who reaches

your hand and touches your heart..."

Keep Smiling

Which One Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage

Which One Will You Go For??
Love Marriage
Arranged Marriage
Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible
Family system hangs because hardware (called parents) is not responding.
Compatible with hardware ( Parents).
You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!
Love Marriage is like Windows , beautiful n seductive.... Yet one never knows when it will crash....
Arranged Marriage is like Unix ... boring n colorless... still extremely reliable n robust.

"A true friend is someone who reaches

your hand and touches your heart..."

Keep Smiling

Dil ki baat Naye saal ke saath

Dil ki koi baat to ho
Ek apni aisi raat to ho
Jab tum saamne bethe ho
Pal ki sahi mulaqaat to ho
Khuwahish Dil main jaagi hai
Is sahil pe barsaat to ho
Tanha tanha kaise chalen
Koi apna Dil se saath to ho
Utkarsh Kulshrestha

"A true friend is someone who reaches

your hand and touches your heart..."

Keep Smiling

HAPPY NEW YEAR - Happiness deep down within.

I wish you Health...
So you may enjoy each day in comfort.

I wish you the Love of friends and family...
And Peace within your heart.

I wish you the Beauty of nature...
That you may enjoy the work of God.

I wish you Wisdom to choose priorities...
For those things that really matter in life.

I wish you Generousity so you may share...
All good things that come to you.

I wish you Happiness and Joy...
And Blessings for the New Year.

I wish you the best of everything...
That you so well deserve.


H ours of happy times with friends and family
A bundant time for relaxation
P rosperity
P lenty of love when you need it the most
Y outhful excitement at lifes simple pleasures

N ights of restful slumber (you know - dont' worry be happy)
E verything you need
W ishing you love and light

Y ears and years of good health
E njoyment and mirth
A angels to watch over you
R embrances of a happy years!

Happiness deep down within.
Serenity with each sunrise.
Success in each facet of your life.
Family beside you.
Close and caring friends.
Health, inside you.
Love that never ends.
Special memories of all the yesterdays.
A bright today with much to be thankful for.
A path that leads to beautiful tomorrows.
Dreams that do their best to come true.
Appreciation of all the wonderful things about you.

I look to the new year and my wish for you;

Peace within your heart
Love from family and friends
Faith to guide your way
Hope to to make it through each day
Sunshine to light the day
Heavenly Stars to wish upon
Rainbows to to let you know there is a tomorrow
A tear to show compassion
A heart to hold the love
But most of all I wish for you
to feel my hand in yours,
To know I am here if you stumble or fall.
To bring you cheer, to bring you love,
to return the love you always share with me.

Perhaps a bit wiser,
a bit kinder, too,
a little bit braver,
a heart that's more true,
a touch of believing
I've not known before,
in joys I'm receiving
a little bit more.

A little more anxious
to reach out my hand,
despite hurt or problems
to still understand,
accepting the heartache
that life often brings,
a little more beauty
in life's simple things.

A prayer when I'm weary
as onward I trod,
a little more trusting,
believing in God,
'tis this I would wish for
within moments dear,
not a lot - just a little
this wondrous new year

- Hide quoted text -
"A true friend is someone who reaches
your hand and touches your heart..."
Keep Smiling
«•´¨*•.¸¸.*¤~* Krish *~¤*.¸¸.•*¨`•»
«•´`•.(¸.•´(¸.•* *•.¸)`•.¸).•´`•»


well after reading mum'' mirror i'm br'gng fwd my conclusion abt


It's really not difficult...
To make a woman happy; a man only needs to be :
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
17. a psychologist
18. a pest exterminator
19. a psychiatrist
20. a healer
20. a good listener
22. an organizer
23. a good father
24. very clean
25. sympathetic
26. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls

50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

53. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

1 . Leave him in peace

SOME USEFUL DEFINITIONS:Cigarette,Love affairs,Ecstasy,Computer Engineer

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ...
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails...