Friday, July 31, 2009

The Benefits of Growing Older


The Benefits of Growing Older
(and you thought there weren't any...)

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

No one expects you to run into a burning building.

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won't wear out.

You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

You can eat dinner at 4:00.

You can't remember the last time you laid on the
floor to watch television.

You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.

You consider coffee one of the
most important things in life.

You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

You got cable for the weather channel.

You have a party and the neighbors
don't even realize it.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in,
no matter who walks into the room.

You send money to PBS.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You talk about "good grass" and you're
referring to someone's lawn.

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

Your back goes out more than you do.

Your ears are hairier than your head.

Your eyes won't get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance
is finally beginning to pay off.

Your secrets are safe with your friends
because they can't remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally
down to a manageable size.


You have
great friend who think of you often


Thinking of U today
&

hope I made you smile!


Utkarsh

Affection will show the human mentality....!!

Hello,

Isn't it strange how a 20 rupee note seems like such a large amount when
you donate it to temple, but
such a small amount
when you go shopping?


--------------------------------------


Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so long when
you're at
Temple , and how
short they seem when you're
watching a good movie?
www.FunAndFunOnly.net




Isn't it strange that you can't
find a word to say when
you're praying,
but you have no trouble
thinking what to talk about
with a friend?


--------------------------------------


Isn't it strange how difficult
and boring it is to read
one chapter
of the Bhagwad Gita, but how easy
it is to read 100 pages of
a popular novel ?


--------------------------------------


Isn't it strange how everyone
wants front-row-tickets
to concerts or
games, but they do whatever
is possible to sit at the last
row in Jagran?


--------------------------------------


Isn't it strange how we need to
know about an event for Temple 2-3
weeks before the day so we can
include it in our agenda, but we can
adjust it for other events in
the last minute?


--------------------------------------


Isn't it strange how difficult it
is to learn a fact about God to share it
with others, but how easy
it is to learn, understand,
extend and repeat gossip?


--------------------------------------


Isn't it strange how we
believe everything
that magazines and newspapers
say, but we question the words in the
Bhagwad Gita?


--------------------------------------


Isn't it strange how everyone
wants a place in
heaven, but they don't want
to believe, do, or say anything
to get there?


--------------------------------------


Isn't it strange how we send
jokes in e-mails
and they are forwarded
right away,
but when we are going to send
messages about God, we think
about it twice before we share
it with others?

IT'S STRANGE ISN'T IT?


Forward this to anybody that you
consider a friend, family member or even foe. You need to know, and so do they.....



Affection will show the human mentality....!!
But,
The SITUATION will show the human REALITY....!!!!


--------------------------------------
Utkarsh Kulshrestha- regards

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

What will happen If INR 1 Rs = USD $ 100

(Copy + Paste + Send - Enjoy)

Year : 2050

Place : IBM , USA
(Two Americans Talking)

Currency Conversion Rate : INR 1 Rs = USD $ 100

Alex: Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to office?

John: Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.

Alex: Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it has become very strict.

John: Yeah, but I managed to get it.

Alex: How long it took to get it stamped?

John: Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates was standing in front of me and they played with him like anything. That's why it got delayed. I went there at 2 AM itself and waited and returned by 4 PM .

Alex: Really? In India , it is a matter of an hour to get stamped for USA

John: Yeah, but that is because who in India will be interested in coming to USA man, their economy has been booming.

Alex: So, when are you leaving?

John: Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the client in India and you know, I will be getting a chance to fly Air-India. Sort of dream come true.

Alex: How long are you going to stay in India .

John: What do you mean by how long? I will be settled in India , my company has promised me that they will process my Hara Patta ..(green card)

Alex: Really, lucky person man, it is very difficult to get a Hara Patta in India .

John: Yeah, that's why, I am planning to marry an Indian girl there.

Alex: But you can find lots of US girls in Hyderabad , Bangalore and Mumbai.

John: But, I prefer Indian girls because they are beautiful and cultured.

Alex: Where did you get the offer, Hyderabad?

John: Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of living is quite high, it is Rs. 2000/- for a single room accommodation.

Alex: I see, that's too much for US people, Rs.1/- =$100/-. Oh God! What about in Bangalore, Mumbai?

John: No idea, but it is less than what we have in Hyderabad. It is like the world headquarters of software

Alex: I heard, almost all the Indians are having one personal Robot for help.

John: You can get a BMW car for Rs. 5000/-, and a personal Robot for less than Rs.7500/-. But my dream is to purchase Ambassador, which costs Rs.2 ,00,000/- but has got a lovely design.

Alex: By the way, who is your client?

John: Subbarao and Apparao Associates, a pure Indian company, specialising in Embedded Software.

Alex: Oh, really, lucky to work in a pure Indian company. They are really intelligent and unlike American Bodyshoppers who have opened their Fly-by-night outfits in India . Indian companies pay you in full even when you are on bench.

My friend Paul Allen, it seems, used his bench time to visit Bihar, the most liveable place in India , probably world. There you have full freedom and no restrictions. You can do whatever you want! I
wonder how that state has perfected that system.

John: Yeah man!, you are right. I hope our Americaalso follows their footsteps.

Alex: How are you going to cope with their language?

John: Why not? From my school days I have been learning Hindi as my first language here at New York . At the Consulate they tested my proficiency in Hindi and were quite impressed by my cent per cent score in TOHIL i.e. Test of Hindi as International Language.

Alex: So, you are going to have fun there.

John: Yeah, I will be travelling in the world's fastest train, world's largest theme park, and the famous Bollywood where you can see actors like, Hrithik, Shah Rukh Khan and all. Esselworld is also near Bollywood.

Alex: You know, the PM is scheduled to visit US next year, he may then relax the number of visas.

John: That's true. Last month, Narayana Murthy visited White House and donated Rs. 2000/- for infrastructure development at aSiliconValleyand has promised more if we follow the model of High-
Tech City of Bangalore . Bill Gates also got a chance of meeting him. Very lucky person.

Alex: But, Indian government is planning to split Narayanamurthy's Infosys.

John: He is a hard worker man, he can build any number of Infosys like this. Every minute he is getting Rs. 1000/-. It seems, if you keep all his money converted as Rs. 100/- notes you can reach Pluto.

Alex: OK, Good Luck John.

John: Same to you Alex. And don't go to Consulate in a "Kurta Pyjama" because they will think you are too Indianised and may doubt you will never come back and hence your Non-Immigrant Visa may get rejected. But don't forget to say " Namaste, aap kaise hai " to the Visa officer at Window 5. It seems he likes that and will not give you a visa if you don't greet him that way.

Find Your Match calculator

Hi all,

 

A Very Good Morning……………

 

 

              Male

Female

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarious

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Fervent

Passionate

Assuring

Poor match

Unforgettable

Opposites

Strong attraction

Ever lasting

A great romance

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Dedication required

Taurus

Passionate

Well matched

Tough luck

Warm and cozy

Highly emotional

Steady and happy

Passionate

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Showdowns

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Stubborn

Excellent match

Gemini

Care-free

Difficult

Erratic

Odd ends

Packed with laughter

Unusual

Delicate

Fickle minded

Hot and cold

Hard work

Cool

Perceptive

Cancer

Differences

Sharing & caring

Direct

Romantically dreamy

Loving

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Paradise

Aloof

A wonderful match

Painful

Charming

Leo

Intense

Made for each other

Fun

Stressful

Strong willed

Uncomfortable

Inspiring

Strong attraction

Passionate

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Entertaining

A very romantic affair

Virgo

Fiery

Lot of common things

Fickle minded

Exciting

Difficult love match

Boring

Inharmonic

Slow and steady

Strong

Strong

Not compatible

Supportive

Libra

Uncontrollable

Exciting

Wonderfully romantic

Heavy going

Good fun

Strong

Indecisive

Strong

Merriment

Weak

Praise worthy

Fairytale love

Scorpio

Warm

Magnetic

Difficult

Strong attraction

Ego clashing

Passionate

Emotionally stimulating

Dangerous

Mild

Dynamic

Conflict filled

Tempting

Sagittarious

Adventurous

Wavy

Fun loving

Problematic

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Different needs

Scatterbrained

Strained

Thrilling

Uncomfortable

Hard work required

Problematic

Capricorn

Passionate

Great

No common points

A caring couple

Sweet and short

Quite balance

Not a strong couple

Charming

Fights

Life long romance

Tricky situation

Passionate

Aquarius

Fascinating

Strong

Good pals

Disturbing

Problematic

Difficult

A perfect love match

Ups and downs

Arguments

Tremendous

Marvelous

Cautious

Pisces

Uncomfortable

Charming

Painful

Action packed

Attraction

Heavenly

rewarding

Picture perfect

Problematic

Unsteady

Tearful

Blissful