Thursday, June 25, 2009

TEST YOUR EYES

TEST YOUR EYES

Plz follow the guide.

1. First close one of your eye.

2. Move your mouse point at the red '!".


3. Right click at the !.

4. Then go (select all).

5. Then u'll see the result.
Stupid ! People ask you to do something and u do it without applying your mind ;) YOur eye sight is allright,But YoUr Mind has gOt Problems hehehehe .. Ha..HA..HA..!!!

Pls don't b angry ...

I am a VICTIM also..

IF U FEEL DUMB:P THEN SEND IT TO YOUR BEST FRIENDS ...N MAKE DEM FEEL STUPID

A Tomato Story...

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.

'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US ...
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email. The man replied,'I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Moral(s) of the story
1. Internet is not the solution to your life.
2. If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
3. If you received this message by email, you are closer to being a office boy/girl, than a millionaire. .........

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

George Bush goes to school...

George bush



George Bush goes to school to give a speech. After his talk he offers
question time.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.


"Bob".


"And what is your question, Bob?"



"I have 3 questions.


First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?


Second, why are you President when Kerry got more votes?


And third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?



Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that
they will continue after recess.



When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?


Oh that's right --- question time. Who has a question?"



A different little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him
what his name is. "Steve"


"And what is your question, Steve?"



"I have 5 questions.


First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?


Second, why are you President when Kerry got more votes?


Third, what happened to Osama Bin Laden?


Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?

And fifth, Where is "Bob"?

A different Love Letter and a beautiful reply to it.... :-) Read up to last

(Copy - Paste - Forward)

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Reshma,


Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options

(A) 10 marks,

(b) 5marks and

(c) 3 marks.



**********

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:

(a) of love

(b) you couldn't control seeing me

(c) really ... Am I doing it?



**********

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:

(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile


**********


3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:


(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song


***** *****

4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:


(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know



**********

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:


(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know


***** *****

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...


(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded


***** *****

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:

(a) I am going to be your groom

(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them


**********


8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:


(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose


**********


9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:


(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.



**********

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.


If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.



Eagerly awaiting your reply..


Love, Aakash


************ *********



Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........


Aakash ,


Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.


***** *****

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.

(a) Yes (b) No


***** *****

2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?


(a) Yes (b) No


**********


3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?


(a) Yes (b) No


**********


4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.

You poked your nose inside..... Right ?


(a) Yes (b) No



**********

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?

(a) Yes (b) No



**********

6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali ) at the bus stand?

(a)Yes (b) No


***** *****

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?


(a) Yes (b) No


**********


8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?


(a) Yes (b) No


**********


9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?

(a) Yes (b) No


If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.


Hope everything is clear to you .


**********

Essay on a poor family

Dear all,

Please read it as believe you are also in childhood…Take it serious….



Once in a kintergarden, a teacher asks a very rich
girl to write an
essay on
the topic " A Poor Family"
So she writes:

Ek baar ek bahut hee gareeb family thi,
husband aur wife dono gareeb they,
do bachey they, woh bhi bahut gareeb they!!
ghar ke saare naukar bhi gareeb they,
ghar ka maali, driver, aur guard bhi bahut gareeb
they,
ghar ke 4 kuttey bhi gareeb they, 2 din sey chicken
nahi khaaya tha,
3 mercedeez car thi, unki bahut time se servicing nahi
hui thi,
ghar ka A.C bhi theek nahi chalta tha
ghar mein 1 saal sey paint nahi hua tha
family ko holiday ke liye foregin country gaye bhi 6
mahiney ho gaye
they
ghar ke 5 mein sey 2 TV to chaltey hee nahi they,
all in all, bahut he gareeb family thi!!
thank you

Laloo is Joking..

(Copy - Paste - Forward)

Laloo enters a shop and shouts, "Where's my free gift with this oil?"


Shopkeeper: "Iske Saath koi Gift nahin hai, Lalooji"
Laloo: Ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE"


2) Saddam Hussain visits God and asks him: "God, When shall I see the defeat of Bush?" God replies:" Son, you will not see it in your lifetime." Hearing this, Saddam Hussain starts crying and goes away.


Gen Parvez Musharaff visits God and asks him: "God, when shall I see The Capture of Kashmir by Pakistan?" God replies:" Son, you will not see it in lifetime". Hearing this, Gen Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away.


Laloo Yadav visits God and asks him:" God when shall I see Bihar Becoming a prosperous and happy state? "Hearing this, God starts crying. Laaloo is astounded and asks:" God, why are you crying? " God replies:" Son, I will not see it in my lifetime."


3) Once Laloo was coming out of the Airport. As there was a Huge rush, the> security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE", for which Laloo replied "85> Kgs" and moved on...


4) Laloo's family planning policy: DON'T HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR


5) At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND U sir?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."


6) After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modeling. Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo Appears on the front page of a newspaper.


Guess the caption!! 'Laloo, third from left!'


7) A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for divorce?"

Laloo replies "Marriage".


8) After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It Took me only 5 months to do it," Laloo brags. "Five months? That's too long." the friend exclaims. "You are a fool," Laloo replies. "Read the box, it says "5-7 years".

Monday, June 22, 2009

LATERAL THINKING ABILITIES

(Copy - Paste - Send) Done :)


LATERAL THINKING ABILITIES


An interesting quiz for you.......... Lateral Thinking Abilities --- Think!

1. There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work. Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it's raining! Why?

(This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the canonical answer is truly satisfying.)
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2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the surgeon says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son! ?How can this be?

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3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks,trousers, lumper, gloves and balaclava. He is walking down a black street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

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4. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones?

This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an
interview question for prospective employees.

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5. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?

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6. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you' and walks out.

This puzzle claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its! statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of figuring it out.
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SOLUTIONS
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1. The man is very, very short and can only reach
halfway up the elevator buttons. However,if it is
raining then he will have his umbrella with him
and can press the higher buttons with it.

2. The surgeon was his mother.

3. It was day time.

4. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped
down the diagonal of the manhole. A round manhole
cannot be dropped down the manhole. So for safety
and practicality, all manhole covers should be
round.

5. The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes.
When the man Drank the punch, the ice was fully frozen.
Gradually it melted, poisoning the punch.

6. The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this
from his speech and drew the gun in order to give
him a shock. It worked and cured the hiccups-so the
man no longer needed the water.